Obvious Denial
by kelpie169
Summary: They're obviously in denial. This is what happens when their friends try to get Fred and Hermione to face the truth. AU where everyone gets along after the war.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: anything you recognize isn't mine! Stay tuned for another note at the end.**

"Here's to your newest venture! May it prosper!"

The assembled crowd roared in agreement as they lifted their glasses toward a cluster of young people in the center of the spacious living room.

"Come on, tell us how you did it!"

A moment passed as glances were exchanged. Then the tiny brunette woman yelped as a tall redhead hoisted her to his shoulders.

"Oh, great! So I have to talk?!" Hermione blushed and covered her face with her hands. "Oh alright, alright!"

A hush fell over the large room as they waited on bated breath.

"It's taken far too long for us to catch up with Muggles. Just face it-they do some things better!" A round of laughter and scattered applause sounded and Hermione grinned wider. "Believe it or not, the offhanded comment that sparked this whole endeavor was made by none other than Draco Malfoy."

The tall blonde raised his glass. "I never thought you'd take me seriously! And I never thought you'd actually be able to do it!"

"What have I told you ,Malfoy? Never tell Hermione that she can't do something!" Harry bit his tongue as Ron slapped him lightly on the back in commiseration.

" _Anyway_ he became enamored with 'those talking picture book things'. Took him weeks to remember their proper name."

"Movers!"

Ron flushed as George piped up to correct him. "Movies!"

"Yes, movies. So we set out to bring movies to the masses, I guess you could say." Hermione paused awkwardly, glancing over the people spread throughout the room. "That's really about it. Now put me down!" She slapped Fred lightly as she tried to wiggle from his shoulder.

"Uh uh. Nope. You'll get lost in the crowd if I put you down." He gave her side a light pinch and she squealed in indignation. "Munchkin."

As the party broke into movement and noise once more, the small cluster of young adults moved to the kitchen of the large flat.

"Why are there so many people here again? I thought you said a small get together!"

"Father had other ideas." Draco shrugged as he leaned against the counter. "This is a big deal."

And so it was. Weasley's Wizarding Cinema and Golden Trio Books and Baubles were the newest highlight of Diagon Alley. The large bookstore brought magic and Muggle literature and culture together beautifully, while the theater upstairs was set to rotate five new movies each week.

The Golden Trio and the Weasley twins were an unexpected, yet almost unstoppable force. With Malfoy money backing their endeavor there wasn't a way to feasibly fail, even if they'd wanted to.

"So, have you lot finally decided who's staying here? This is a nice flat." Ginny waved her hand around spastically.

"Yeah, that's right. I mean, I know it's not Harry, but I hadn't heard anything past him reassuring me I wouldn't have to pack up my closet _again_." The group laughed as Pany leaned further into Harry and wrapped her arms around his waist while she waited for an answer.

The five partners all smirked at each other. The argument had lasted months. Although now that they'd settled the issue, it seemed almost as if the conclusion should've smacked them in the face immediately.

"George is staying in the flat across the street above the shop. Harry and Ron are settled in Grimmauld place, so there's really no reason to disrupt that. So Fred and I are gonna move over here. That way he can pop between the theater and the shop and I'll be on hand for anything that comes up." Hermione had given up trying to wiggle her way down from Fred's shoulder and she pouted adorably down at him. "I'm not a bloody parrot! Your shoulder is digging into my arse bone!"

"Ah, but what a lovely arse bone it is!" The friends chuckled as Fred finally relented and tossed her casually down. He leaned back between her legs as she settled on the granite countertop and rested her chin on his shoulder as their friends looked on in amusement.

"Are you finally going to admit it, Granger?"

Wild mahogany curls flew as her head whipped around to face her friend. Fred choked dramatically and feigned death as he pawed at the hair assaulting his face. "Admit what, Malfoy? I just said we'd be living here."

"He means are you finally going to admit that you and Fred are together." Ginny rolled her eyes.

Twin expressions of exasperation glared out at them.

"Hey Gred, I think we're rubbing off on her. She even gets the same little crinkle between her eyes as we do."

Hermione rolled her eyes and smoothed her features out as Fred twisted around to glance her way. He shrugged and settled back to his previous position."Why do you lot constantly ask us that? The answer is the same as it's been since sixth year."

"But-"

"Kids?" Hermione breathed a sigh of relief at the unexpected interruption. "Padma is here about that article in the Prophet." Arthur Weasley smiled as he popped his head into the kitchen.

"Duty calls. Save me, pleeeeeease!" Pansy giggled as she shoved her boyfriend away. She pulled him back a moment later and tried to pat down the messy black hair on his head, though she gave up quickly and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"I'll grab her and we'll meet you downstairs." George strode away quickly, cutting an imposing figure as he wound his way through the party guests.

Hermione checked her watch and shoved Fred forward so she could hop down from the counter. "Gin? Do you think you, Pansy and Draco could start herding people out? It's late and I would like to have our own little celebration when we get done with this load of fucking bollocks."

"Language, Granger! Who knew you had such a dirty mouth? Well, Weasley of course but…" Draco turned tail and scampered away, his laughter echoing behind him as she reared her hand back to throw something his way. His head popped around the doorjamb momentarily as he grinned playfully. "And so violent!"

"Come on. Let's go."

Ron and Harry led the way as Fred grabbed onto Hermione's hand, their fingers interlacing automatically. "I don't get it, Munchkin. Why are they so fixated on our so-called relationship?"

x . x . x . x . x

"It wasn't that bad. You didn't have to make him cry."

Hermione glared incredulously at Ron. "Ronald Weasley! I don't care how adorable I used to find Colin Creevey. What he suggested was vile!"

"It wasn't that bad, 'Mione." George smirked.

"What are we missing? What the hell happened?" Draco glanced around as he lounged in one of the overstuffed chairs.

Hermione scoffed from the chair beside him as she shifted on Fred's lap, her legs swinging up and over the armrest. "His creative vision, that's what happened!"

"Oh for the love of Merlin! It wasn't as if he suggested we all strip down and shag!" Pansy and Ginny's mouths popped open at Harry's words and Draco tried to stifle his laughter.

"Of course he didn't want _you_ to strip down!"

"What?! Can you lot please finish the story?" Ginny scowled playfully and turned to Pansy. "They're quite maddening, aren't they?"

"Try living with two of them!"

Everyone's eyes turned to the dark haired woman as the room momentarily went silent. She groaned. "Oh fuck me! I forgot how many brothers you have."

Ginny snorted indelicately as she summoned another bottle of butterbeer from the kitchen. "Thanks, but I'll leave that particular task to Harry. You've got equipment in all the wrong places for me. Malfoy on the other hand…"

Draco flushed a bright crimson and nearly dropped his tumbler of Firewhiskey. "Uh, nice to know I've got options if Theo turns tail, I guess."

He chuckled as the Weasley brothers grabbed any available throw pillows and tossed them toward their sister. She squealed as her butterbeer toppled off the coffee table to spill all down her front.

"Honestly. You lot are impossible!" Hermione beamed brightly as she shook her head at their friends antics.

"So, what exactly did Creevey do?" Hermione glared at Pansy who shrugged unapologetically. "What? I really want to know."

"He asked if I would mind posing in the center of all the boys." Ginny raised a ginger eyebrow, failing to see the problem. Hermione pursed her lips as Fred's arms wound around her stomach.

"I still don't understand."

"Well, considering the question directly before had been evaluating the extent of lace on her knickers…" George dodged the pillow Hermione threw his way and laughed as the rest of the group joined in.

"Yes, yes. Very funny. Let's all poke fun at boring, bookworm Granger." She pouted huffily as she leaned further back against Fred.

His nose ran lightly over the skin of her neck as he chuckled. "Those lacey black things you're wearing tonight could hardly be called boring, love."

"See! That, right there!"

Hermione and Fred raised their eyebrows, again identically, as everyone else nodded in agreement.

"That right there what?"

"You can't honestly expect us to believe that you aren't dating." Draco scoffed and threw the last inch of alcohol down his throat.

Fred rolled his eyes. "Of course we can. Because we aren't dating." Two bottles of butterbeer flew towards him with a wave of his hand and Hermione caught them deftly.

"Hermione. Look, we're your best friends. We never would've worked out." Hermione choked as Ron spoke and Fred thumped her heartily on the back. "It's okay if you're with my brother. I understand."

Ginny snorted into her hand as Ron drew the word out like he was speaking to a slow toddler.

"Not that I need your permission Ronald, but we're not." She drew the word out mockingly and Ron pouted.

"Look at me, Hermione. It's been…" He paused to mentally calculate. "-almosts nine bloody years. This has gone on long enough and it's stupid. Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth." Harry crossed the room and tugged Hermione to her feet, staring down at her diminutive form with narrowed eyes.

Her spine straightened and Fred moved the chair back a few inches as he watched the confrontation. He may be one of her best friends, but Harry was a brother in all but blood. There wasn't a chance he wanted to be between the two.

Emerald eyes met chocolate as Harry stared down at her. Her hair crackled with uncontrolled magic and her nostrils flared angrily. "I am not now, nor have I ever dated Fred Weasley."

Silence reigned for a moment, then two as the other six occupants of the room stared at the pair before them. Then Harry stumbled backward a step.

" **Oh my god!** " He burst into laughter as Hermione planted her hands on her hips in exasperation. "They really don't know!"

Fred and Hermione stared around them as their friends took the mickey out of them. She scowled as she flopped backward onto his lap again. "They're mean. Why do we hang out with them again?"

"No idea, love." He shrugged and his arms found their way back around her middle. "Is there any more of that Muggle liquor you keep in the fridge?"

"Tequila? Yes, but I don't want you getting into it, you git! Last time you ended up in the bathtub hugging the toaster wearing my bra and knickers."

"He _fit_ into your knickers? Poor Fred!" Pansy smirked as the twin's indignant yelps.

"Oi!"

Hermione chucked as she patted Fred's head consolingly. "Yeah no. Not so much with the fitting. It was just...all out there and ready to greet the world."

George burst into laughter as his twin pouted."That was _supposed_ to be our secret, Munchkin. I could always tell them about that one time in the Room of Requirement-"

Hermione slapped a hand over his mouth quickly, her face flushing scarlet. Harry and Ron raised their eyebrows as Pansy and Ginny giggled.

"I'm not sure I want to hear the end of that story." Draco snickered as he refilled his tumbler from the bottle on the coffee table. "And you're still telling us you're not involved."

"They really don't know." Harry glanced toward the duo and shrugged unapologetically. "What? You've been dating since our fourth year. You just don't know it."

"I think we'd know if we were dating, Harry. It's not exactly something one can overlook." Hermione sat primly against Fred as she glared around the group.

"Obviously it is." Harry mocked as he leaned back against the cushions and took a swig of his Firewhiskey.

"Uh, do you remember that date we set you up on? Remember how that went?"

Hermione groaned at Pansy and twisted around to bury her face in Fred's neck. Her muffled "You're never going to let us live that down, are you?!" was met with laughter.

" _Why did we agree to this again?"_

 _Fred glanced over his shoulder as he tugged Hermione along the sidewalk. Her heels scraped against the walkway as she shuffled forward, clearly unhappy._

" _Because of the massive amounts of blackmail Pansy and Ginny have on us, of course."_

 _Hermione nodded absently as they approached the restaurant. "We're late. They're probably already in there."_

" _Well if you hadn't taken a bloody hour to get dressed then we wouldn't be late, would we? You don't even want to do this, why'd you bother dressing up for the prat?" Fred's petulant expression pulled a smile from Hermione and she reached up to pat his cheek lightly._

" _It's not for him. And how do you even know he's a prat? I don't even remember his name, honestly. I know it's some Slytherin from my year." She shrugged, unconcerned. "Who'd Ginny get for you?"_

 _Fred cringed as he pulled the door open and ushered her inside. "Not sure. She just said to behave, which doesn't bode well. Reservation for Weasley?"_

 _The hostess glanced up, a crinkle between her brow as she took in the couple standing before her. The man's large hand rested in the small of the woman's back and her fingers gripped the pocket of his trousers loosely. "The rest of your party has already arrived. I'll show you to your seats."_

 _The wound their way through the dining room and approached a table near the back. A blonde woman and a dark haired man sat facing away from them and Hermione gulped in nervous anticipation._

" _Here you are Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley. Your server will be out momentarily."_

 _They ignored the hostess' words as Fred pulled the chair out for Hermione and she lowered herself daintily. She wiggled around to get comfortable as Fred seated himself beside her and they both unfurled their napkins to place on their laps._

" _Luna?" Fred's startled exclamation grabbed Hermione's attention and she glanced up to see their 'dates'._

" _Nice to see you again, Luna. And nice to meet you. I'm Hermione Granger." She extended her hand across the table to the man sitting across from her._

 _Fred nudged her slightly and leaned closer. "_ _ **Everyone**_ _knows who you are, Granger. And that's Blaise Zabini. You met a few weeks ago at Malfoy's."_

 _Blaise chuckled as she took Hermione's proffered hand and stood slightly to press a kiss against her skin. "Good evening, bambolina. Would you like to start with a glass of wine this evening? I hear their house white is spectacular."_

 _Fred snorted a laugh, his attention never wavering from his menu. "Good luck getting her to drink white, mate. She's addicted to reds."_

" _Oh, that must be why the wrackspurts are drifting toward you. They love red grapes."_

 _Blaise grinned at Luna as Hermione nodded uncomfortably. "No, it's fine. I'll...try it. Thank you, Blaise."_

 _A moment later, their server left with drink orders as they continued to peruse the menu._

"' _Mione, I don't know what half of these things are. The whole bloody menu's in French!"_

" _Their lamb is excellent. And their salmon as well." Luna smiled dreamily and Fred attempted to smile back._

" _You can't have the lamb. It always upsets your stomach and I'm not babying you tonight." Hermione's attention never wavered from her menu and Blaise fought a chuckle._

 _Fred nodded absently, his brows knitting together as he grew frustrated. Hermione's mouth opened as she leaned over to point. Fred snarled playfully. "If you're going to point at a pasta dish, then you can order it yourself. You always steal half my dinner when I do that."_

 _She sat back huffily and turned her eyes back to her menu. Blaise cleared his throat and her eyes darted up to meet his gaze. "If I may, their duck is superb."_

 _She smiled brightly at him as Fred pouted beside her. "I can't even tell which one says 'duck'."_

 _Their waitress approached their table a moment later, wine glasses in hand. She stared bemusedly as Hermione bickered with Fred, then turned her attention toward Luna and Blaise._

 _She left a few moments later, stifling a smile when Hermione snapped an order for Fred as he pouted, his arms across his chest._

" _So, Hermione. What is it that you do?"_

" _She reads. All day. That's all she does."_

 _Hermione smacked her friend harshly as she muttered an expletive under her breath. "It's_ _ **called**_ _research, you prat! I'm very sorry about him. He's out of sorts. I've been working with Mr. Malfoy on a new project, though I'm really not at liberty to discuss the details at present."_

 _Blaise raised a hand to wave it off. "Understood. Don't trouble yourself." He smiled again, gleaming white teeth flashing in the low light of the restaurant. "So I take it this is the new project that has Lucius and Draco up until all hours raving about their project manager?"_

 _Hermione blushed brilliantly as she reached for her wine glass. "I don't know about that. But what about you Blaise, what do you do?"_

"Well, it all worked out! I mean, Luna and Blaise are really happy!"

"Oh! I didn't tell you lot!" Draco straightened suddenly and they all looked his way. "Blaise flooed me yesterday from Venice. Apparently he and Luna eloped."

A round of exclamations met his announcement as he grinned. "Yes, apparently Blaise proposed last week and Luna wasn't concerned about a big wedding. Or I think he said he exact words were 'an old traditional wedding or none at all'. He went for none at all."

"Why? What's wrong with a traditional wedding? Isn't that what all pureblood birds are brought up to want?" Ron shared a confused look with Harry as Pansy collapsed across the latter's lap.

"Do you know what she's laughing about Gred?"

"Not in the least, Forge. What's the deal, Munchkin?"

Hermione squirmed in his grip as he poked her ribs and she fought back a giggle. "Uh, the old traditions are all about nature. You frolic in the moonlight with nothing between you and your beloved and the beautiful nature around you." She snorted and collapsed back into a fit of giggles as Ginny joined her laughter.

The men all glared at Draco, waiting for interpretation. "It's a ceremony that takes place in the woods at midnight. And they're naked." Twin looks of horrified amusement graced Ron and Harry's faces as George and Fred joined the women in laughter. "Their guests have to be starkers too. Hence why Blaise decided to forgo the trauma."

The group continued chuckling as they settled slightly and Hermione flicked her wand toward the small stereo in the corner. Soft music filled the room as Ginny stood to use the loo and grab another butterbeer.

She plopped back on the floor a few minutes later and leaned her back against the couch beside Ron's legs. "We're not done with you two, you know. I just don't understand how the smartest witch of the age could be so monumentally stupid."

"Hey!" Hermione rolled her eyes at Fred's outburst on her behalf.

"Honestly, Gred. When was the last time you slept alone?" George's eyebrow raised and the duo flushed slightly.

"What? I have nightmares!"

"Hermione, you haven't had nightmares in at least four years." Harry dismissed her argument with a wave of his hand.

Hermione's nose wrinkled slightly as she scowled at her pseudo-brother. "Well...I mean, really…"

"Don't even bother denying it! Your bed hasn't been slept in for months. The last time I stayed over I caught you sneaking into Fred's room at one in the morning and found you both wrapped around each other like a pair of Snarfalumps."

Ron grunted a protest. "I didn't need to know that. Tell me they had clothes on."

"Was that the morning I saw those gorgeous legs of yours 'Mione? And those really delightful purple knickers with 'Smack Me' written across the bum?" George smirked as Hermione covered her face with her hands.

"That's the last time I go shopping with you Pansy!"

"What? I happen to like the selection of undergarments constantly strewn about my room. Although I was worried that Fred was having an identity crisis until I caught you in his bed."

Fred rolled his eyes at his twin.

"You're telling me that in the almost nine years you've been sleeping together-"

" **Just sleeping!** "

"-you've never had any inclination of doing...more?" Harry raised an eyebrow as he stared at his cleared her throat and turned a baleful glare toward her best friend.

"Eh. Not especially." Fred shrugged and shifted in the chair.

"Really? A hot little number like Granger in your bed and you've never so much as had impure thoughts?" Draco asked skeptically. "I mean, I prefer Theo's equipment and all, but I wouldn't kick her out of bed."

"Thanks, Draco. Much appreciated."

"I'm not saying we've never been...affected by the other. But that's just a natural bodily function."

"Bloody hell, you've spent too much time with her!" Ron let his head roll back against the couch and Fred rolled his eyes.

"I don't mind if he has a wank if he needs it. Why would I mind?" Hermione's puzzled expression met Pansy's amused one. "If I'm already in bed, I'll just turn over. Though I do tend to tease him if he takes too long."

"Oh bugger off! It's not as if you don't have your own fun. Remember when we expanded the Wonder Witch line a few years ago, Georgie?" Fred waited as his brother nodded. "The Smart Wand?"

" **That** was Hermione's idea?!"

Hermione blushed as Ginny and Pansy cracked up. "No, it was inspired by a Muggle toy she has."

George's ginger eyebrows hit his hairline as Harry, Ron and Draco glared in confusion.

"You're all moved in, right?" Ginny's question caught Hermione off guard and she nodded offhandedly, still slightly mortified at Fred's elucidation of her masterbatory habits. "Well I can always show you guys. I'll go get it."

"NO!" Fred doubled over in laughter as Hermione shot off his lap and brought Ginny down in a truly stupendous tackle. The girls scrapped for a few moments before Ginny relented and they both returned to their original places.

Harry huffed in indignation. "Are we ever going to find out about this Smart Wand?!"

Pansy whispered in his ear a moment and Harry's face flushed brightly before it sunk into a slightly green pallor. "I did not need to know that. **Hermione!** "

Ron and Draco glanced between the two as Fred and George cracked up. "Oh, for goodness sake! It's the magical equivalent of a Muggle vibrator." At their blank expressions Hermione groaned. "A phallic shaped toy that vibrates. It's meant for...you know…"

Draco choked on the mouthful of whiskey and let out a strangled 'Gak!' as he finally caught on.

"Can we please drop it?!" Hermione's plaintive cry only spurred them into more laughter and Fred squeezed her momentarily tighter.

"Meant for wha-no, nevermind. I'm not sure I really want to know anymore." Harry shook his head violently at Ron's words. "But what about fourth year? That's when this all started." Ron scowled, remembering how angry he'd been when his brother seemingly stole the girl he liked right out from under him.

"Oh that? I've told you guys! It was just to get Viktor away. He was...creepy."

"Wouldn't it have made more sense to use Ron or Harry as a buffer? Seems like a mighty convenient excuse if you ask me." Pansy sing songed as Hermione grabbed a pillow off the floor behind her to throw.

"Potter, control your woman!" Fred commanded teasingly as he tugged Hermione further against his chest and rested his chin on her shoulder.

Pansy shot a decidedly unladylike gesture his way and he stuck his tongue out in retaliation.

"And what about this?" Hermione watched Ginny wave her hand spastically at her and Fred. "All the touching and kisses and hand holding and snuggling. That's couple stuff."

"Why is that reserved for couples? Maybe I'm just a tactile person." Hermione spat angrily, annoyed at her friends for continuing their questioning.

"I could believe that of Fred. But not you, 'Mione. I can count on one hand the number of times you've willingly hugged me. You don't randomly kiss Harry and you definitely don't hold my hand. And we're your best friends."

"To be fair, I lose her in crowds if I'm not holding onto her." Fred explained patiently, as if that should be blatantly obvious.

"Maybe I don't hold your hand because it's always clammy and sweaty! Ever think of that, Ronald?" He just smiled at her and raised an eyebrow as he lifted his nearly forgotten bottle of butterbeer to his lips. "And I can't help it if I'm short, you giant!" Fred laughed.

"Not to mention that you're both useless if you're fighting." George glanced at his brother. "Honestly the number of times I've had to shove you both in a closet…"

"Oh, you too?" Harry grinned conspiratorially.

Ginny and Pansy giggled.

"My father too." All eyes turned toward Draco as he spoke. "Last week in fact. That day we were going over the financial reports?"

Hermione and Fred rolled their eyes and pouted.

"Yes, G ranger couldn't concentrate on the simplest tasks and kept grumbling under her breath about 'that ruddy bastard'. When Weasley showed up with some reports Father claimed Hermione had forgotten, Mother lured him inside with biscuits. Then Father tossed them both in the foyer broom cupboard until they made up. Took two bloody hours!"

"If I'm to suffer this abuse, I really would like some of that delicious libation, darling. Please?" Hermione rolled her eyes at Fred's pout.

"No. Not tequila! I'll take pictures this time."

"Off topic again! Back to you stubborn prats." Ginny glared at Hermione's grumbled 'you're one to talk' and continued as if she hadn't been interrupted. "Why can't you just admit it? You've been dating for years. But without sex."

Pansy wrinkled her nose. "Oh sweetie! That's tragic. I can't imagine going that long without some lovin'."

"That's not even a little bit true! We-" Fred squawked indignantly as Hermione twisted around to grab his nipple viciously through his shirt.

"Oh, ho! What's this now?!" Harry latched onto the idea and leaned forward, nearly vibrating in teasing anticipation.

" _Fred Weasley!_ I swear if you...oh bugger." Hermione sighed and squeezed her eyes shut as her friends laughed and George catcalled.

"Why are you even acting surprised? Especially after what you tried to do!"

George grinned wolfishly. "Oh you know you loved it, darling. And oh how wonderful those few minutes were!" His handsome face morphed quickly into a scowl. "Until then end, that is. Bloody woman!"

"Do tell, Weasley. I must admit I'm curious now." Draco refilled his tumbler again and leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees.

"It was about three years ago, I'd say. Right around the time Hermione started working in the shop. I was _trying_ to get them to admit their feelings."

"Brilliant idea, Georgie. I do believe I'm still picking glitter out of my hair."

Hermione harrumphed and turned to their friends as the twins bickered quietly. "He locked Fred in the supply cabinet at the shop-"

"What is it with shoving everyone in cupboards and cabinets?!"

Ginny snorted. "Oh, you're just jealous cause no one wants to get in one with you, Ron."

"Anyway, he stupefied Fred and tossed him in there...spilling a cauldronful of glitter, by the way. And then tried to come onto me in some weird attempt to get me to admit I had feelings for Fred."

Fred chuckled and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "There's no fooling you, Munchkin." He turned his attention toward the group. "She's always known the difference between us. Though I've got no bloody idea how."

Hermione twisted an invisible key on her mouth and giggled when long, elegant fingers dug into her ribs.

"How exactly did he come onto you?" Pansy raised an eyebrow and smacked at Harry as he tried to shush her.

"Really, Pans? I've already had to hear about her knickers asking people to smack her and her ridiculously ludicrous...wand." Harry gulped audibly and fought to shake off the apparent nausea.

"You sure you wanna share this story, Forge? As I remember, it didn't exactly end well for you." George snarled at his twin as Hermione giggled.

"What are we missing?" Draco's perplexed question only spurred Hermione's giggles on.

"We've never shagged. But sometimes-"

" _Once in a fucking blue moon!_ "

"-Yes, thank you, Munchkin. Once every so often we tend to get a little drunk and...almost...shag." Fred shrugged unconcernedly.

"And how exactly does George fit into this? Or will this scar me for life?" Ginny gagged mockingly as she thought about the possible answers to her hastily posed question.

"George got it in his head that we needed a 'shove in the right direction'. So he decided to try to masquerade as Fred and tried to seduce me."

"So what happened when he finally came clean? I mean, did you-I mean...was he…" Ron stammered and let his question putter out.

"What do you mean when he came clean?! I may have been utterly pissed, but I knew it was him the second he pretend stumbled into the flat!"

"How? Even Mrs. Weasley can't tell them apart most of the time." Pansy's eyes bounced between the twins, trying to pick out any minute differences. "Yeah, I don't know how you do it."

Hermione shrugged, a light flush suffusing her cheeks. "I just do."

"So, what happened with George then?"

"That's the brilliant part! Would you like to tell them?" Fred motioned to his brother who glared at him. "Well, you were the one so intent on sharing, brother of mine."

"Alright, fine. Everything was going swimmingly and she was eating it up. I was charming and she was coy and then she took off her pants-"

" _Hermione!_ "

"Oh, shut it Harry."

"-and then, the tricky little minx, decided she needed a striptease from her 'Big Bad Freddie'." George scowled at the young witch who blew him a raspberry in return. "I got down to my pants when she comes strutting up, swaying those hips at me. I almost lost it when she draped herself over me and started snogging me."

"This story just keeps getting better. Cheers, Granger!" She blew Draco an air kiss and they laughed as George scowled at the both of them.

"That doesn't exactly sound like a bad memory. Except for the fact that you were pretending to be Fred." Pansy cast an appraising eye over her friend. "Yeah, no. I wouldn't kick her outta bed."

Harry gasped dramatically and playfully shoved Pansy away. He leaned sideways, draping himself over his best friend's lap. "Ron! She's broken my heart! I think I may need comfort!"

"Well, aren't you amusing when you drink, Potter."

"Well, the really amusing part is what I did to him then. Care you share?" George shook his head stubbornly at Hermione as she smirked.

"This darling gem of a girl then proceeded to apparate directly into the middle of Diagon Alley, shove my bastard twin away and apparated herself right back home. In the middle of the evening rush. In a snow drift."

Laughter erupted and George stood quickly, retreating to the kitchen for a moment. Hermione stood automatically as Fred followed his brother. She rolled her eyes. "And I always thought Fred was the drama queen."

Draco chuckled again as he set his tumbler on the coffee table with a note of finality. He stood and swayed for a moment before he caught himself on the arm of Hermione's chair. "Well, lads and ladies. I must take my leave." The bow he tried to pull off was slightly diminished as he tipped sideways into Hermione, knocking them both into a heap of laughter on the floor.

"Your mum's gonna kill me."

"Oh no, fine lady." Draco laughed as he staggered toward the fireplace and grabbed a pinch of floo powder. "It's Theo you should watch out for! He warned you last time you sent me home drunk!"

He was gone in a flash of green, his drunken laughter echoing behind him.

"And on that note, I think we best be off as well. We've got some...cleaning thing or something to do in the morning and mum wanted us home early." Ron stood and pulled Ginny to her feet.

"He never listens." Ginny shook her head and shoved her brother toward the fireplace. "We're helping Luna's dad with some kind of snarfblatt infestation-or something."

She grabbed Hermione in a tight hug and left, Ron following behind with an awkward wave.

"Is George gonna be alright? Should we stay?" Harry's voice, laced with worry, brought Hermione's attention to the remaining couple. She smiled softly at her best friend and the girl who'd somehow captured his heart.

"No, thank you though. He'll be fine. You'll see." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "I may have to watch what I eat and double check all my toiletries for the next few weeks, but it'll be fine. Don't be surprised if I suddenly have blue hair or something though."

"Toiletries?" Pansy's look of confusion just sparked a round of giggling from Hermione as Harry herded her toward the fireplace.

"I'll explain later." He reached an arm out and pulled Hermione toward him, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. "Wow. Fred's right." He smirked as she glanced up at him. "You really are tiny."

She shooed him out and Pansy pressed a quick kiss to her cheek as she followed her boyfriend home, laughing at the best friend's antics.

Hermione sighed in relief. She glanced around their flat and paused for a moment to survey the aftermath of the party.

She rolled her eyes a moment later as she heard what sounded like a scuffle in the kitchen. Her giggles trailed in her wake as she marched into the kitchen to break up whatever mischief the twins had managed to find.

 **I've recently decided to only publish the first chapter of new stories here. The rest of it (it's only a two shot anyway) will be posted on my blog. Google 'Kelpie's Korner' and you'll be able to find it, since this site is so stubborn about links.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Long overdue, but here's the second and last chapter of Obvious Denial. I originally wasn't going to post it here, but eh. There are some outtakes on the way, so keep an eye out.**

 **Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine.**

 **x . x . x . x . x**

"I promise, George!" Hermione smacked his bottom as he stepped petulantly toward the fireplace.

"Tomorrow. First thing." He pouted and glared at the small witch. "And there better be strawberries!"

"If you're appropriating my flatmate for pancakes, the best you're getting is blueberries!"

Hermione swatted at Fred as he retreated a few steps, cackling in amusement. She shook her head and grabbed his twin for a hug. "I hope you're not too mad at me, George. You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah, I know." He pressed a kiss to her hair and squeezed her tighter as he glanced toward his twin. "Don't worry. Just take care of my brother over there and we'll call it even."

Hermione's perplexed expression lingered as he stepped into the green flames and spun away. She turned around, hands on her hips when she saw Fred fiddling with her stereo. "I swear Fred, if you fuck up my stereo again…"

The threat hung open ended as he twirled around boisterously, a large grin on his face as a pop-y melody filled the room.

"I _do_ listen occasionally, you know. I won't break your precious music box." Hermione rolled her eyes at his intentional misnomer. "Now, come dance."

"Are you mental?"

He laughed and wiggled his way toward her, the scowl she wore morphing into a genuine smile as he grabbed her small hands and twirled her around. Her shrieks of laughter trailed in their wake as they moved around the room, only heightening as Fred broke away from her to climb the couch as he 'sang'.

"Get down from there, you goof!" Hermione tugged at his arm as he resisted. "You're gonna get hurt!"

Fred grinned down at her and pushed her back a step to drop down to the floor. He cocked his head to the side as the music morphed into something softer and slower.

"My lady," he bowed dramatically and extended his hand toward her. "May I have this dance?"

"Very well, good sir."

They came together slowly and he pulled her closer as they moved in perfect synchronization. His hands rested in the small of her back as she leaned against him, the scent of peaches and honey filling his nose. The moments passed slowly and contentedly as they swayed together, both relishing in the perfect moment.

"Hey Mione?" She glanced up slowly, her eyes heavy lidded in the dim light. "Why don't you ever want me to tell them?"

She froze, her hands dropping limply from where they'd previously been clutching his shirt. Her whiskey colored eyes met his cerulean ones, her gaze open and slightly fearful.

"Fred-" She stepped back and he felt strangely bereft as her warmth disappeared from his arms. "-I...I just...they already have this idea in their head that we're together. Knowing that we already have sex? You know it would only add fuel to that fire."

His brow furrowed as he closed the distance between them again. "Why is that a bad thing though? Are you ashamed of me?"

"No!" Hermione exclaimed, her arms automatically encircling his waist. "I just...it would make things difficult. That's all."

A moment of contemplative silence passed between the friends before Fred sighed deeply.

"Hermione." His finger under her chin brought her eyes up to his and she sucked in a nervous breath. "Would it be so bad? Being with me?"

Her eyes widened at his words and she retreated once again, putting more distance between the pair than they'd ever seemed to have before. The air thickened with unspoken whispers and desires as the pair searched each other's eyes.

And then Fred moved, surging forward and capturing her lips in a bruising kiss. Hermione moaned as her back hit the wall, unaware how far away she'd moved, as her tongue darted out to join the fray. Large hands gripped her waist hard enough to leave marks and her nails dug into his biceps, leaving crescent shaped indentations in the wake of her passion.

"Mione! Fuck!" Fred gasped as his hands lowered, gripping her arse as he lifted her higher. The new angle pressed their hips together, ripping a moan from deep in her chest.

Lost in the sensation, Hermione gave herself over to him. Trust mingled with desire as they fought for dominance of the kiss until they both broke apart, gasping in much needed air. His lips moved down her jaw, his teeth scraping her earlobe as she let out a strangled gasp that sounded suspiciously like his name. He trailed his lips down her neck, leaving open mouthed kisses along her skin and Hermione's fingers carded through his thick hair. She tugged lightly when she felt him smile against her neck. A low groan rumbled in her throat as felt him nibble that one secret spot along her collarbone that never failed to make her wild.

So it came as a complete shock to Fred when she gasped once again and, rather than pulling him closer, shoved him away violently. He panted as his eyes swept over her, from her overly tousled hair and the disheveled state of her clothes to her swollen lips and flushed cheeks.

"We...we can't!"

Fred growled, startling Hermione as he stalked forward again, caging her against the wall with his body. "Why?! Why can't we?!"

Tears welled in her eyes and she choked back a sob, her heart aching with the night's turn of events. His eyes were wild, a feral light gleaming out at her as he loomed over her, waiting for a response.

Instead, she ducked under his arm and sprinted away. The bathroom door slammed behind her as Fred gaped uncomprehendingly at the blank wall in front of him. He could only hope that he hadn't ruined the very best thing he'd ever had in his life.

x . x . x . x . x

It was the sliver of moonlight that woke him.

It'd taken hours for Fred to fall asleep as he tossed and turned, stomach churning in sick anticipation of the morning.

He didn't want to face her questions or accusations. He didn't want to deal with the aftermath of his mistake. He didn't want to admit that he may have irrevocably damaged his relationship with Hermione. And he really didn't want to face the fact that, despite their insistence to the contrary, he'd really felt as if they'd been a couple.

"Fred?"

He contemplated feigning sleep, though he dismissed the idea almost immediately. Without a word, he lifted the side of his comforter in a clear invitation.

She slipped in his room, the moonlight chasing her from the uncurtained window at the end of the hall. He noticed her choice of sleepwear, one of his shirts, and he fought down the giddy fluttering of his heart. She'd been wearing his clothes for years, ever since the night they'd lost their virginities to each other. It didn't mean anything other than she didn't own any other pajamas.

Her bare feet padded across his room, her footsteps muffled in the hideous orange shag rug he'd dragged from across the street. There was no hesitation in her movements as she gracefully slid into his bed and he sighed in relief when she snuggled against him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head violently and he reared back to keep his face away from the hazard that was her hair.

"Do you want to forget it happened?"

Fred regretted the quiver of disappointment in his voice as he asked, though he'd done everything he could to suppress it. She paused for a moment, then slowly shook her head again.

"Do you want me to stop talking?"

He felt her smirk against his bare chest as she nodded. Her fingers tangled in the drawstring of his pajama pants as she deliberated and he let her have a moment of silent contemplation. Then she pulled away, stealing her warmth as she leaned up to rest on her elbows.

His hand rose, seemingly of it's own accord, and tucked a stray tendril of that mahogany mess behind her ear. She grinned, her eyes shining as she stared at him while she pondered something, though he hadn't a clue what.

Fred let his eyes drift shut, content that his relationship with Hermione wasn't destroyed from his impulsive actions. Then he felt it.

A small brush, light enough that he thought he might've imagined it. But her lips pressed against his once more, harder and with more insistence as she raised herself above him. He groaned, but kept his hands down, unwilling to take what she wouldn't freely give.

Hermione, however, wasn't nearly so reserved in her actions. Frustrated with the awkward angle and annoyed at the slight pain in her neck from craning in such an unnatural way, she slid across him to settle on top of his chest.

Her small hands fisted in his hair and she moaned as his tongue darted out, begging entrance to her mouth. That tongue could do wonders, she knew, and she had no intention of stopping...whatever this was.

True, they'd slept together on occasion. There was no rhyme or reason to the timing and never mentioned the morning after. It had never occurred to Hermione that it was anything out of the ordinary. She knew he'd never had another partner, nor had she and they had seemed content. At least she'd thought so. She loved him, that much she knew. He was one of her best friends and always the one she went to at the end of the day.

Pushing those thoughts deliberately away, she focused on the man beneath her. She reached for his hands, interlacing her fingers with his in a silent cue to move. He acquiesced instantly, his body surging forward as he shook one hand out of her grasp to pull her tighter against him.

They writhed impatiently as their hips ground together, sparking the pleasure they were so very good at creating. Fred gripped the shirt she wore, nearly ripping it over her head as she panted above him, his lips immediately finding new stretches of bare skin to explore.

Hermione balanced with her hands on his broad shoulders, relishing in the strength that lay contained there as Fred sought out one perfectly pink nipple. Her sharp gasp brought his eyes up to hers and he smiled mischievously against her. His fingers sought out the other raised peak, giving it attention as his other hand snaked down to run under the back of her knickers.

He squeezed her arse and she yelped in amused arousal, her nose wrinkling adorably as she tried to laugh through the pleasure he continued to bring her.

Without warning, he pushed her backwards and dropped her amidst the heap of bedding at the foot of the bed. She squeaked indignantly as he grasped the side of her lacy black knickers, pulling the scraps of fabric away from her body with one quick tug.

Then he pulled back, gazing down at the beauty laid bare before him. The darkness of his room highlighted the dips and curves of her body that he'd mapped years ago while the moonlight played over the delicate features of her face.

He started at her ankle, kissing and licking and nibbling up her leg, chuckling darkly when he tickled her lightly behind the knee. His tongue flicked out to meet the crease of her thigh, halting its progress just before he reached her core.

She whined as he pulled himself away, content to torture her as he started his ascent on her other leg. Her eyes slid closed of their own accord as she waited on bated breath for him to do something; anything to relieve the ache he'd sparked.

A harsh cry left her lips as his fingers probed her core, his tongue dancing wicked designs on the skin of her hip as he drove her to brink of insanity.

Fred groaned in frustration as his cock throbbed, eager to be where his fingers were playing. The soft cotton of his pajama pants seemed to rasp over the sensitive skin as he ground his hips into the mattress, desperately seeking 'd never been with anyone to compare, but he couldn't imagine a more perfect woman than Hermione.

She clenched around his fingers as he lowered his mouth, his tongue drawing intricate designs over her clit. This was what he loved best. Watching as she climbed higher, knowing it was _his_ fingers and _his_ tongue that made her shatter and break into a million pieces of ecstasy.

Time ground to a halt as Hermione's world collapsed inward. Her orgasm surged unexpectedly, sneaking in to take her by surprise. Lights flashed in the darkness of her mind as her body trembled with uncontrolled desire. Her fingers fumbled through the sheets, clumsily seeking something to ground her.

His fingers grabbed hers gently, interlacing them with hers as she heaved in breaths choked with emotion. Hermione cracked her eyes open to see Fred sprawled lazily between her splayed legs, his messy ginger hair tickling her thigh as his warmth breath swept over her heated center.

"Fred…" her whimpered plea fractured the silence, pleading for something she couldn't quite put into words.

He obliged her unspoken request and crept up her body, stopping to place strategic kisses just _here_ and _there_ to wind her back up. Hermione moaned, the sound seeping from her throat as she clutched frantically at his waist.

"What do you want, love?" His nose skimmed lightly along her neck, his whispered words grazing her ear as she shivered. Bare skin seared into bare skin as Fred draped himself over her, his lips brushing lightly over her jaw.

"You. Just…you."

"You've always had me, Hermione."

Her eyes welled with tears and she fought to keep them open. She recognized the words for what they were and her heart skipped a beat, "Really?"

His gentle smile calmed her nerves, his eyes shining with newly unleashed emotions. Hermione licked her lips in anticipation as she slipped one hand beneath the waistband of his pants.

"I need these off." His expression morphed into a delightfully mischievous smirk at her words and he rose to his knees, shuffling the offending fabric down his thighs.

Hermione shifted restlessly, her hands clenching around empty air as she waited impatiently for her lover to divest himself of the ridiculous cotton obstruction.

"So impatient." The husky low tone of his voice sent a thrill down her spine and she leaned up on her elbows to watch the shadows dance over his ivory skin.

She watched as Fred flopped backward, his hair splaying messily across his pillow; the pillow she'd picked out and always stole. "Come up here, love."

Wordlessly, Hermione crawled up the bed. She giggled as she trailed her nipples lightly up his body, reveling in the deep moan that escaped as she paid particular attention to his overly sensitive cock.

She straddled his lap, her fingers tracing patterns over the light freckles that dotted his chest. Fred groaned again as she bit her lip, his cock jumping eagerly to join in the fun. But he waited. This had to be her choice.

It was mere moments and it was eternity; days dragged on and seconds flew by as he waited.

Then her whiskey brown eyes caught his and she sighed. "You know they're going to be downright insufferable after this."

Fred barked out a startled laugh and Hermione slipped off his body as he rolled to his side, clutching his ribs. The adorably affronted glare she tried to pull off just spurred him on and a moment later she joined, the tension breaking as they roared with laughter.

"Oh, don't I know it!" He wiped a stray tear away from his cheek as he settled on his back, one arm bent behind his head. "I can't really bring myself to care, though."

"Neither can I."

They giggled and nipped playfully at each other as Hermione rolled back on top of him, sliding her wet core over him teasingly. Fred swatted her arse and his hips surged forward, nearly bucking her off as she shrieked.

"Oi! None of that now!" He reached out and tweaked a nipple lightly and she squealed in mock indignation. "Come on, you tricky minx. Get on with it!"

She smirked once again as she raised herself to her knees, her lips hovering over his as she grinned unabashedly. A moment later they groaned in unison as she slammed herself down, taking him all the way in one swift stroke.

The couple moved together, their limbs tangling as she rode him slowly. His hand wove through her hair as it fell around them while his other hand guided her hip gently.

The moved in unison and Hermione leaned forward to press her lips roughly to his. A low growl ripped it's way from his chest and she squealed in delight as he hooked a leg around her calf to flip them over.

He paused in his movements, resting nestled in the cradle of her hips as he stared down at her. Tears welled in Hermione's eyes at the raw adoration she found as she gazed back at him.

She rolled her hips underneath him, urging, _pleading_ for him to move. And move he did. His slow thrusts drew her pleasure out painfully, keeping a maddeningly leisurely pace. His lips curled into a smirk as he brought himself down to rest on his elbow, this free hand tracing the lines of her hips, the curve of her breast, the slant of her collarbone, until his fingers tangled once again in her wild tresses.

Her small hands clutched his shoulders, her face screwed into a mask of agonized ecstasy. She need _more_. Her teeth bit frantically at her plump bottom lip and Fred leaned down to reclaim it for his own, his lips molding to hers as their tongues mimicked the movement of their hips.

They climbed higher as their hips met in an erotic dance they had perfected years ago. A new layer of tension, of pleasure, washed over them as they moved faster. Their hips crashed together frantically and Hermione wrenched her head to the side, her back arching violently as she clenched tightly around him.

There had never been a more beautiful sight, not to him. His own pleasure forgotten for the few short moments, he stared in awe at the woman beneath him as she came with a sharp cry. His own end crashed over him unexpectedly and he gasped, his heart fluttering in his chest as he released inside her.

The air was heavy as he flopped forward, his lips finding her sweat slicked neck as he tried to hold his weight off of her. She seemed in no hurry to push him away, her feet twisting around his thighs as if to hold him in place for just a few moments longer.

"Did you mean it?" His whispered words sent shivers down her spine as his nose skimmed along her jaw.

She pushed him back and he hovered over her once again, the fear and insecurity blatantly showcased in his normally bright eyes. Her face split into a beaming smile and she nodded.

"You might regret this." She whispered, her voice raspy and low in the darkness. He chuckled as he withdrew from her and settled beside her, tugging the wrinkled comforter around them.

Fred pulled her to his side, his arm curling protectively around her shoulder as she tangled their legs together under the covers. "If I haven't gotten rid of you after all these years, then I don't think anything could make me leave. Face it, Granger. You're just stuck with me now."

"So, we're really doing this? You and me?" She reached across his chest and entwined her fingers with his, her cheek pressed against his chest.

He nodded, his eyebrows raising slightly as he heard the note of melancholy in her voice. "You alright, love?"

Hermione smiled and nipped playfully at his nipple. His fingers moved to her ribs in retaliation before they both settled comfortably, the long day and even longer night swiftly catching up to them.

"I'm perfect. Better than perfect." His heart fluttered again and he wondered if it would always feel that way. "I love you. You know that, right? I loved you before and I'm swiftly coming to realize that I've been in love with you for longer than I would've thought. You snuck up on me, Fred Weasley!"

He squeezed her tightly as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, inhaling the lovely peaches and honey scent that was purely her. "I love you, too. I'm just glad George knocked some sense into me tonight. I don't know if I ever would've gotten the courage to tell you." He freed a hand and she felt a finger tilting her chin up, his eyes gazing intently into hers. "You were far too precious for me to chance losing."

"I'm just sorry we wasted so much time."

x . x . x . x . x

"You're late!"

Hermione froze, a pained grimace painted across her face as she clutched the platter of pancakes tighter.

"Sorry?"

George crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the counter. Ron popped up a moment later, his expression more akin to a bloodhound than a man as he sniffed the air.

"Do I smell pancakes?!"

Fred barked out a laugh, startling the few customers mingling around the shop. "Think of it as brunch, Forge. We were busy this morning."

"What could possibly have been more important than making up for humiliating me last night?!"

Hermione flushed slightly and George narrowed his eyes.

"Guys, are we going to _eat_ those pancakes or are you just going to taunt us with them?"

Fred snorted as George rolled his eyes. "Find Lee and have him cover the register. And make sure Verity knows you're taking a break."

Ron scampered away to do his brother's bidding as George huffily led Hermione and Fred through the back room to the stairs leading to his flat.

"Go on up. I'll be there in a second." Fred pursed his lips to hide more laughter as George stomped away grumbling.

"Well, that bodes well for us. Come on." Hermione sighed and led the way, feeling Fred's heated stare burning her arse as she climbed. She twisted around and smirked playfully as Fred licked his lips lasciviously. "You're impossible. Open the door?"

He blinked owlishly before he noticed she'd stopped. A moment later, he realized exactly what she'd asked and reached around her to grasp the doorknob, pressing his body along the length of hers teasingly.

"After you, love."

Hermione shivered as she stepped over the threshold and crossed the small living room to set the tray on the small kitchen table.

A hard body pressed against her back, strong arms winding around her waist as a chin came to rest on her shoulder. "Are you nervous?"

"Not really." She sighed and settled further back against Fred's chest. "I just know this is going to be an extremely long afternoon after an already long morning."

"I promise it'll be fine, love."

Hermione spun in his arms, her eyes wide and slightly manic. "Then kiss me to distract me."

He obliged willingly, his hands descending to grip her arse firmly as his lips crashed onto hers. Her hands found their way to the back of his neck and her fingers twined lazily in the hair skimming his shirt collar.

"Oi! None of that now!" The couple broke apart and Fred groaned to cover the sound of their panting. They pulled back slowly, though Fred refused to relinquish his grip on Hermione's waist. "I take it you guys figured things out?"

George grinned widely as he skirted around them to drop into a chair beside the small window.

"Like she could resist me when I turned on the charm."

Hermione's elbow had just found Fred's ribs as Ron crashed through the door, stumbling over nothing as he tripped over to the table. He brushed past Hermione and his brother, who had yet to sit, pressing a quick kiss to Hermione's cheek.

"This looks delicious! Thanks 'Mione!" His mouth was full before he'd finished speaking and Hermione recoiled in disgust.

"Lovely, Ronald. Show the manners I know your mother tried to teach you!"

Ron raised an eyebrow as he glared at her. "I'm hungry. George said you prats were gonna be here early!"

"I already said we were sorry, but being rude to the person who made you food and brought it over hardly seems fair!" Her hands fisted tightly as she glared back at her friend.

"Oh, sod off Hermione!"

"Oi!" Fred stepped forward slightly, pushing Hermione behind him as he snarled at his brothers. "I told her not to bother making breakfast for you lot, since I knew you'd weasel your way out of helping Mum and Ginny. But no, she rushed home this morning just to make you bloody prats a mountain of food _and_ she went to three different markets to get you strawberries since she felt so guilty about last night! So lay the bloody hell off my wife!"

"You promised to be here first thing! And I thought you said blue-wait, what? Wife?!"

Fred squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in a sharp breath as he spun slowly to face Hermione. "Sorry?" He grinned sheepishly down at her, hunching his shoulders to make himself smaller and, hopefully, more innocent looking.

Her narrowed eyes widened a moment later and she darted around him to slap Ron's back violently as he choked. George continued gaping at his twin, a bite of pancake halfway to his mouth.

"Oh! Thanks 'Mione! For a second there I thought Fred called you his wife!"

She huffed out an extremely put upon sigh as she held her left hand out. Ron's light blue eyes bulged out as he grabbed her fingers and yanked her down to inspect the platinum band around her ring finger.

"Is that-? I don't-I mean…"

"Eloquent as always, baby brother. Now I believe you have some explaining to do, Fred."

The twin in question winced as his brother spoke. It was rare that the twins used each other's given names and only in the most serious of circumstances. His hand reached blindly for Hermione and he tugged her down onto her lap, ignoring her squawk of protest as Ron tried to keep hold of her hand.

"I told you they'd take it well."

Fred rolled his eyes at his wife and blew a raspberry her way. She snorted daintily as she leaned in for a kiss, forgetting the other two occupants of the table. A throat clearing brought her attention back to the matter at hand and she blushed as she caught sight of George smirking at her from behind his plate of pancakes.

"Seems as if you skipped a few steps, huh?"

Hermione blushed again as Fred tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and nuzzled her neck.

Her eyes fell on Ron again and her brow furrowed in worry. "Ron?"

The redhead's eyes were still wide as he stared into space. George wondered for a moment if this was what finally broke his brother's already rather questionable brain.

"Don't worry about him. He's only mildly catatonic. He'll be fine. By the way, dear sister," George winked across the table and Hermione giggled, "these pancakes are divine. Are you sure you didn't marry the wrong twin? You know I'm much better looking and obviously smarter since I was the one who pushed him into making a move."

"You're not at all bothered by this?" Hermione elbowed Fred lightly at his muttered 'told ya so!' and watched George closely.

He finished chewing, his tongue flicking out to catch a stray bit of syrup as he contemplated his next words. "I'm surprised, I'll give you that. But-" He shrugged his shoulders and smiled at the pair. "-I expected you to get there eventually. And honestly, I'm quite pleased that you lot aren't wasting any more time."

"M-m-mar...mar...Hermione?"

Fred and George rolled their eyes identically as their brother stuttered. Hermione sighed and rose slowly after pressing another quick kiss to Fred's lips.

"Ron, please. It's really fi-"

The twins shouted in unison as Ron shot out his seat, his hand clamped around Hermione's wrist as he dragged her to the living room.

He grabbed a handful of floo powder and tossed it into the fire, lightly singeing his eyebrows when he stuck his head in a moment too soon.

"HARRY! HARRY, IT'S HERMIONE! GET TO GEORGE'S!"

Hermione's nails scratched frantically at her friend's hand as he held her in a nearly crushing grip. "Ron! Stop, please!"

The twins, having finally gathered their wits, raced into the room as Ron grabbed another handful of powder. Fred tugged his wand from the pocket of his jeans and shot a stinging hex at his brother as George grabbed Ron's wrist, his thumb hitting the sensitive pressure point.

Hermione fell backwards, thankfully into Fred's arms and he swept her back, cradling her gingerly in his arms.

George's sapphire eyes turned to find, and possibly maim, his younger brother-only he'd vanished.

"What the bloody hell?!"

Fred ignored the drama his family seemed to provoke at even the simplest of times and tugged Hermione to the sofa. He flopped backward and pulled her onto his lap as he buried his face in her messy curls. He murmured softly into her ear as she trembled, his lips tracing the line of her jaw softly.

George, meanwhile, paced in front of the fireplace as he waited to intercept whoever Ron dragged back with him.

Which is why he ended up in a tangled heap on the floor, with a very nearly naked Harry Potter sprawled across his body. The men yelped and fought to disentangle themselves, though the towel flung around Harry's waist flapped dangerously.

Pansy stepped through the floo a moment later swaddled in a deep pink and hugely fluffy bathrobe, her hair hanging in soapy ringlets down her back.

"What's wrong?! Where's Hermione?! George? Harry, why are you on the floor with George? _What is going on?!_ " Her eyes frantically searched the room before they landed on Fred and Hermione cuddled together on the couch. "I don't understand. We were in the shower! Why was Ron yelling about an emerg-ACK!"

Just as George had managed to escape from underneath Harry, thankfully with the younger man's modestly mostly intact, Pansy was flung forward. Three more bodies stumbled out of the fireplace and into the fray as confusion reigned in the small living room.

" **Everybody shut it!** "

The group froze momentarily and the new couple couldn't contain their laughter at the sight before them.

Their friends and family were nothing more than a pile of limbs and bodies in various states of undress, all wiggling and kicking to get away.

"Would someone _please_ tell me what is going on?!" Pansy pleaded, her voice slightly muffled from it's position in the crook of someone's knee.

Fred took pity on the poor girl and lifted Hermione gently off his lap, crossing the small living room to pull her out of the pile. He left the men to sort themselves as he escorted Pansy over to the sofa.

As the writhing pile of bodies worked to disentangle themselves, a sharp squeal sounded from the two women. Harry glanced up from where his head was suspended upside down beneath Ron's elbow to see his girlfriend jumping spastically all over his best friend in a stunning display of feminine excitement. "Aw man! I can't even say I told you so!"

"Would someone please tell me why the Weasel King barged in to drag us here?"

Hermione perked up at the voice and giggled lightly. "I'm sorry, Theo. Once you all get unraveled we'll explain. Although this really is one of the most spectacular display of bad judgement I've ever seen."

"He's not the only one, Granger! You're still not off the hook for sending my lover home three sheets to the wind last night!"

Fred smirked at the former Slytherins words as Hermione just rolled her eyes.

"Not to break up this little bonding session, but I have sensitive parts that are being squashed. Fred, a hand?" Harry grimaced as another knee came dangerously close to his nether region, his eyes pleading for mercy.

A few moments later, the friends were all gathered around George's small living room, most of them glaring at Ron. Theo crossed one bare leg over the other as Draco laced their fingers together. The blonde's bare chest was particularly distracting and he only hoped they'd be allowed to leave before his boxers became even more strained than they already were. Draco, on the other hand, was battling a headache of epic magnitude. Not only was he hungover, but he'd had to listen to Theo's lecture on the evils of Firewhiskey for over an hour the night before.

George had magnanimously fetched Harry a pair of his pajama pants, which had Pansy in a tizzy once her boyfriend emerged from the bathroom. Given Harry was about six inches shorter than the Weasley twins, the pants dragged comically, though she rather liked the way that his perky bum filled out the back.

No one missed the fact that Hermione was once again on Fred's lap, his fingers laced with her own as his other hand twirled small sections of her hair. It was also blatantly apparent that Ron was extremely unhappy with this for some reason. The younger redhead had flung himself into an overstuffed chair as soon as he'd gotten free of the pile, his arms crossed over his chest as his face grew progressively redder.

"Would someone please explain? If this is only about Fred and Hermione finally getting their heads out of their arses, it really could've waited until we'd finished our shower." Harry glared at his friend as his girlfriend bit her lip to suppress her grin.

She and Hermione shared a secret look and broke into a fit of giggles that had the twins chuckling along with them.

"Weasley, if you dragged me away from my office just to tell me that Granger and Twin One are dating, I'm going to be highly upset." Draco nearly growled as his boyfriend calmly stroked his bare arm.

"This is what you wear to the office now, Malfoy?" Hermione smirked at her friend, her eyes devouring the very nice view of the two half dressed men seated across from her. "And we're not dating."

All eyes turned to Ron as he scowled. "Bloody right they're not fucking dating! The fuckers snuck out this morning and got married!"

There was a beat of silence before Harry cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. I thought you just said Fred and Hermione got married."

The twins smirked at the nearly identical reaction to Ron's. Fred grinned broadly and tugged Hermione further against his chest, much the same as the night before.

"No joke, Potter. You yourself pointed out how much time we wasted being thick." He glanced at his wife and brushed his nose to hers gently. "We figured there wasn't a reason to keep wasting time when we both knew it'd end like this eventually."

Draco's mouth had formed a perfect 'O' as his jaw dropped, his slate grey eyes wide and startled. Theo, however, had no problems with brain function and he popped off the sofa to grab at Hermione.

"Oh, this is wonderful!" He twirled her around, ignoring Draco's yelp as Hermione's feet swung into his shins. "I'm so happy for you, darling!'

"So am I, though I'd be happier if we could've spent our lunch hour alone."

Hermione giggled at Draco's muttered words as Theo let her go. She threw herself onto her other friend's lap and threw her arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry about that. We were going to invite you over for dinner tonight, but _someone_ decided to be a massive git and blow this out of proportion."

Draco smiled tightly, his hands settling firmly on her hips as he held her at the end of his knees. "Uh, watch the goods, love. Theo might be brassed off if you incapacitate me a second time."

Her face flushed scarlet as she hopped up and retreated back to Fred. "I'm so sorry, Draco! And Theo." They just laughed, though the blonde's sounded slightly strained as he shifted uncomfortably. "Will you come round tonight, then?"

They nodded and Hermione dismissed them with a sharp smack on Theo's arse, leaving the rest of the group roaring with laughter. The floo roared a moment later and they were gone in a flash of green.

Fred glanced over to his wife's pseudo-brother. His face was still frozen in a disbelieving expression as Pansy tried in vain to bring him around.

"Harry?"

Emerald eyes blinked behind round wire rimmed glasses and the redhead cringed backward at the slightly murderous glint in Harry's eyes. Hermione stepped between the two men and glared at the dark haired man.

"You wipe that look off your face, Harry Potter. Right this moment!" Pansy sat back to let Hermione take her boyfriend to task, a small smile pulling up the corner of her mouth as her friend continued. "Weren't you the one who pointed out how stupid we were being?"

"Yes, but-"

" _And_ weren't you the one who pointed out how much time we've wasted?"

Ron sneered triumphantly as Harry's mouth opened, clearly prepared for his vindication as Harry tore the couple a new one. Therefore, he was caught completely off guard as his friend sighed heavily.

"You're right. Congratulations!" He shot to his feet and stepped forward to pull Hermione into a hug. He buried his face in her neck as he sighed. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Hermione's heart fluttered in her chest at Harry's whispered words. She nodded and hugged him tighter. "This is the most sure I've ever been."

They separated after one more tight squeeze and Harry stepped around Hermione, his hand extended toward Fred.

The twin smiled, ecstatic to have Harry's approval. He knew if anything would ruin this drastic chance they'd taken, it'd be disapproval from him.

"I like you, Fred." Harry pulled the older man in for a half hug and angled his mouth up toward his ear. "But that still won't stop me from killing you if you hurt her."

Hermione rolled her eyes as she caught sight of her husband's pale face and Harry's beaming smile. "Boys!"

Pansy laughed in agreement as she stood to hug the couple before gracefully pulling Harry back toward the fireplace to finish their shower.

"That's it?!"

George groaned. He'd almost forgotten about his little brother and the stick up his arse. Hermione raised an eyebrow at her friend as her arms crossed over her chest.

"Excuse me, Ronald?"

The twins stepped toward each other and shuffled back toward the small dining room, their cerulean eyes wide as they ping ponged back and forth between two thirds of the Golden Trio.

"I bring a girl back to the house and get a two hour lecture from Pansy and a visit from Mum! And you sneak off to get married and everyone's perfectly fine with it?"

She didn't know which twin the low whistle came from, but Hermione huffed and glared over her shoulder. At their faux innocent expressions, she turned back to Ron.

"First of all, the tart you brought back tried to crawl into Harry's bed after you started snoring. You're actually lucky a lecture was all you got, considering Pany's rather violent proclivities toward Harry's fangirls."

Fred grimaced and George shuddered. The small Slytherin was vicious when it came to protecting what was hers. She had no trouble putting anyone in their place, especially girls who only wanted one thing from her boyfriend.

"And second of all, aren't you my friend? One of my best friends?"

Ron blinked and George had to wonder if Hermione possessed enough skill to cast a wandless, wordless Confundus without meaning to. With a defeated sigh, Hermione's arms dropped to her sides limply, the fight all but fleeing her.

"Can't you just be happy that I'm happy? All Harry asked was if I was sure." She glanced over her shoulder at Fred, her lips pulling automatically into a smile. Ron noticed the change as she turned to face him once again. "And I am sure. I'm more sure of this than I've ever been. Fred is my other half and has been for more years than even I realized. Please? Just be happy for me?"

Defeated, Ron stood to pull her into a hug. His chin rested on the top of her head as they embraced, though a chuckle rumbled through his chest as one of his brothers cleared their throat pointedly.

"Alright, alright. Take the ball and chain back!" He shoved her playfully toward Fred, who swept her into his arms and planted his lips on hers almost violently. "But uh, one other thing."

The couple broke apart and Fred lowered Hermione to the ground as George cocked an eyebrow when Ron stepped toward the fireplace once again.

"I'm telling Mum!"

Hermione collapsed in a fit of laughter as the Weasley twins shot forward in a mad rush to stop their brother. She watched the brothers try to yank Ron forcefully out of the green flames and felt her heart squeeze tightly at the sight.

Her life wouldn't be boring, but it'd be pretty damn perfect.


End file.
